I Don't Hate You Karkat x Reader

He would always yell at you, he always would, for ... everything. Even when you tried to please him, you always tried doing something nice for him, from giving him pretty Alternia flowers, to sharing your lunch with him when he didn't have any.

It never pleased him. He'd simply tell you to fuck off or insult your existence. It didn't used to be like this, just over a year ago you were sorta-friends. He wasn't so rude before and didn't yell at you as ... much. But you could almost say he was nice to you! For gods sake he even invited you to hang out with him at his hive and watch romcoms!

What changed over the past few months?

"He's Karkitty," Nepeta told you when you confided in your 'predicament' She laughed a bit and gave you a smile, "He's always grumpy, he yells and swears at everyone, don't let it get to mew."

It still didn't make much sense. Frowning at this, you scooted closer to her and spoke in a hushed voice, "But he acts like he hates me Nep!" Her smile turned down at the corners, and something flashed in her olive eyes. "Don't worry (Y/n)! I'm sure he likes mew just as much as mew like him!" You suddenly got the feeling Nepeta knew more then she let on.

But perhaps what Nepeta said was true... maybe Karkat didn't hate​ you. 

Yet it was still very hard to believe that he didn't.

You could lie and say you're used to it by now- Karkat yelling and being rude to you 24/7 it was now something you have become accustomed to, just like everyone else.

But was that really true? 

Sometimes you would wonder if he knew you were 'flushed' for him. You suspected everyone else knew, Nepeta did find out after all, and for the past few days she would be whispering 'OTP OTP' when you and everyone else (Trolls and Humans) went out. You're not exactly an expert at keeping the I-like-him-signals a secret nether. So it must be pretty obvious.

Maybe... that's the reason why he hated you? Maybe because you were a human, and he didn't like humans liking him?

Of course That was a silly answer to a serious question, you knew this because he used to have a flush-crush on Jade (And you were jealous of her because of that) but she was human! So why would it bother him so much that a human liked him?

To be honest, you never really saw this coming, you don't really remember how this attraction started, or why. It just sorta happened. One day you just saw him as a friend then you started to notice all the cute things about him, like his nubby horns, his adorable height ...

You snorted he used to be your 'sorta-friend'

And now it was like he couldn't stand to be in the same room with you! It hurts when he leaves the room when you suddenly walked in, it hurts when he insults your existence, it hurts when he glares at you from across the fucking room!

'At least he notices me...' You thought sadly. Yes you a human, a 'pathetic' human (Karkat's words not mine.) is head over heels for a troll that despised you with every fiber in his being.



The next day you stayed home all day, you really didn't feel like going out and declined Nepeta's invitation to a party at her cave like home. She was disappointed, but she understood, from what she told you the party was supposed to start at 5 pm and was supposed to end at 10 pm she told you this just in case you changed your mind about not going.

Yeah sure.

Looking to the side at the old digital clock that sat by your bed, you noticed it was now exactly 11:06 pm which means the party ended an hour ago. The only reason you even bothered to notice this in the first place, was because your laptop just seemed to fire messages from Trollian like crazy, and it was past your bedtime. You made a grunting noise in the back of your throat.

You didn't answering the messages, or even look at the screen.

Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling screenName  [SN]

CG : (Y/N) YOU PUTRID DUMB FUCKING CROTCHSTAIN WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU TODAY

CG : EVERYONE WAS FUCKING DISAPPOINTED YOU DIDNT COME  TO THE SHITTY PARTY

CG : AND I REALLY NEEDED TO FUCKING TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING

CG : (Y/N)

CG : FOR FUCKING SAKE ANSWER ME ALREADY I DONT HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY

CG : YOU KNOW WHAT IM COMING OVER IF YOUR NOT GOING TO ANSWER ME

carcinoGeneticist[CG] ceased trolling screenName  [SN] 

Who ever was messaging you finally stopped.

It seems it's gonna be a restless night for you. Laying down in your bed, you couldn't help but think about Karkat as you stared at the ceiling, you started to remember things from last year when everything was still ok, you remembered being excited when Karkat asked you to come over his hive and watch a romcom with him, at the time you didn't see him as love interest but the crabby troll was to you a very fascinating individual, that day was fun, you watched the troll version of 10 Things I Hate About You it was a comedy and you and Karkat both agreed that it wasn't the slightest bit funny, but you both enjoyed your time together, and that made you...happy.

It all seemed to shift, now your thoughts weren't in the past, they were in the present where Karkat saw you as only a nunsense that's all what you were to him now.

 

You began to sob quietly.

To him you were now the 'TOTALLY UNATTRACTIVE LOW LIFE'

You could hear the crescendo of his voice as your mind replayed all the times he hurt your feelings it felt like he was actually there like he was actually repeating his words from the past month.

'YOUR A WORTHLESS ON EVERY LEVEL DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING'

'YOU'RE SO FUCKING ANNOYING ALL YOU EVER DO IS FUCKING CRY!'

'I HATE YOU!' This 'memory' however was not real, Karkat never admitted he hated you, but by the way he treats you ...

It was clear he did.

You curled in a little ball, all the while silent cries escaped your lips.

Why did he hate you?

It was a question you didn't have the answer to.

why?

Why?

WHY?

You heard a knock down stairs, but you didn't want to get up. You didn't want anyone to see you like this, curled in a ball of self pity.

Yet whoever was knocking on your door didn't stop, they just kept knocking, and knocking until it sounded as if they where beating there fist agents the door, or maybe they were.

'For fucks sake! Why can't I just be left alone?' Grabbed the blankets from under you, you covered your head, clenching your eyes shut, and tried to drown out the sound and fall asleep, the weeping has worn you out, and all you wanted to do now was just go to dream land and escape this world.

*SLAM*

*SLAM*

"OPEN THE DOOR SHIT HEAD! I-I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"

Your eyes snapped open and you're almost dry eyes watered a little. Oh, the Alternia sky daddy just knows how to make your night so much fucking better! For fucking sake you weren't in the mood to be yelled at.

'...'

"I KNOW YOU'RE THERE SHITCRISP! OPEN THE DOOR!"

'Please...?' You didn't hear him whisper that last part.

'Maybe he'll go away if I don't answer.' You thought, ignoring his yelling, you drowned out Karkat's yelling, and after a few minutes he stopped beating his fist on your poor door. Closing your eyes once more, and tried to think of something else anything to get your mind of stupid Karkat.

*Click*

Your eyes snapped open once again, and you bolted up right and clutched your (f/c) blankets to your chest. 'Did he find...?' your question was answered as you heard footsteps climbing up the steps to your room.

Karkat knocked on your bedroom door- he didn't want to barge in and scare you.

"(Y/N)?" he called out, if you were paying more attention, you could almost hear the worry in his tone. Karkat pressed his ear to the door and heard a muffled sound, and a click as your bedroom door opened.

You opened the door just a crack, (e/c) eyes glazed and slightly bloodshot, you glared at Karkat.

'W-what do you want?' Your voice cracked and you watched as Karkat take in your form, he frowned.

"DID YOU NOT SEE MY FUCKING MESSAGES? IF YOU WERE AWAKE WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER ME?" he glared at you, he gave you a once over look and took in your appearance. "AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT!"

Your lip trembled, and you slammed the door in his face, walking back to your bed you laid back down and stared at the ceiling, trying to use sheer will power to force your tears back.

Hearing your bedroom door swing open you rolled over and buried your face into your pillow, not wanting the troll to see you in such a state.

Karkat hastily walked towards your bed and sat down next to you. "...(Y/n)?.." He whispered quietly, Karkat hesitantly laid a hand on your shoulder, and you shook as a muffled sobbed escaped your lips.

"W-why are you here?" your sentence was muffled, and Karkat's eyebrow twitched

"Can you say that again? I didn't fucking hear you." his response was curt.

You snapped.

You lifted yourself away from your pillow and shook his hand off your shoulder, sitting on your knees and getting into his face you shouted, "Why the fucking hell are you even here Karkat? Why? to come and insult me and tell me how fucking useless I am?" You let out a choked sob and Karkat frowned, that wasn't the reason he came over no-what-? "To look at me in disgust? What did I ever do for you to hate me so much?! I never did anything wrong!" You clenched your fists and looked down.

"I-is it b-because I like you? Because i'm a useless human? Don't you know it fucking hurts when you freaking yell at me all the time?" your voice went down to only a whisper "W-why do you hate me?" You hid your face in your hands.

"No!" He yelled out as he grasped the top of your arms his nails dug into them, you winced and looked down in shame. "Look at me." The candy blooded troll ordered.

Shit you really done it this time.

He let go of your arms and his hands grasped your face, he expected you to look at him, you didn't you tried your best not to look at him, he grabbed your chin and forced you look at him. "Look at me god fucking dammit!" his sentence faltered as a gut wrenching pain made its way to the pit of his stomach. Karkat watched a drop roll down your cheek. You looked at Karkat with scared, slightly glazed
red rimmed eyes.

He made you cry...?

You tried to pull your head back, but Karkat trapped you in his arms hugging you to his chest.

"You...you are crying, and acting like this because you think I hate you!?" he growled at you, yet something laced his voice... guilt?

Flinching you responded meekly "Y-you sure act like you do..." You watched as his face softened and as diluted red tears started to gather in his own eyes.

"For fucks sake, I don't mean any of it (Y/N)!" About to object you opened your mouth and Karkat placed his grey fingers over your lips effectively silencing you. "Let me talk!" he said, he sounded mad, but his eyes showed different emotions entirely.

"I- don't hate you (Y/N)... I-i...I'm.." he stuttered. Not really sure how to tell you how he felt, maybe if he showed you... you would understand?

Karkat grasped your face once more, "I- i'm f-fucking red for you ok!?" He hesitated, then planted a passionate kiss on your lips, trying to pour all his emotions into it.

You froze-couldn't move, you felt shocked-confused, and...hot.

Karkat...Vantas kissed you.... he is still kissing you he didn't hate you he's re-oh god is that his tongue!?

Karkat finally let go of your face, once he noticed you weren't responding to the kiss. He looked at you with his candy red eyes, his face was bright red, redder than any tomato you ever seen, and that was the last thing you saw and thought, before you blacked out.

Karkat freaked when you slumped in his arms.

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)!?  Shit shit shit shit!" He cursed out loud and laid you back on your bed, he moved over to lay next to you and wrapped his sweater cladded arms around you pulling you against him.

Karkat Vantas didn't sleep a wink that night. Mostly because he was worried about you, and because he could hear someone whispering "OTP OTP!!!" threw the vents in your house.