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Eridan x Reader by XxBloodyMoonlightxX

homestuck fanfics by Jany-chan17

homestuck by yukinmagic

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Submitted on
October 12, 2013
File Size
6.5 KB


287 (who?)
Today was a normal day on Alternia, the sky was dark, the grass was bloody and in the background you can hear someone yelling. You walked around bored out of your mind, it seemed like no one wanted to hang out with you today! Everyone had there own thing going on, and had no time to hang out with a silly pink monkey like you. You've asked everyone to hang out with you... except Eridan.


You're face reddened at the the thought of the hipster-fish troll.

You a human, by the name of (Y/N) have a 'flush crush' on the sea dwelling troll by the name of Eridan Ampora. Now, it wasn't just any normal 'redrom' romance it had tints of 'blackrom' too, mostly because Eridan can be a douche cannon at times, but that's just one of the reasons why you liked him in the first place, huh?

But wait. Was it even a Redrom? You certainly liked him- but does he feel the same way? Sure, he would show some signs of being 'flushed' for you-he would blush a brilliant violet color when you made a move on him, like when you held his hand that one time at the beach... but there were times he would act like a complete asshole, like when he pushed you off the cliff that same day.

You still have no idea why he did that.

You guessed it was time to find out where you and Eridan's fucked up relationship stood, not only would it get you out of your loneliness and boredom, you might even find out what Eridan felt for you!

With a smile on your face and a skip in your step, you made your way to the sea dwellers hive, a plan forming in your lovely brains.

BUT wait.

It was quiet too quiet. Usually the beach was louder than this, but not today! No bird's squawking, no waves a washing, and no Eridan's a weh'ing. You walked up the steps to your crush's hive (mansion) and knocked on the door, you received no answer, so like any normal human being you turned the knob of the door you were surprised to see it opened.

The dumbass forgot to lock his door. Perfect.

Smirking you strided into his hive, and looked around, finding the troll face down on the floor. Confused, and a bit (though you would never admit to his face) worried you slowly made your way towards Eridan, and kneeled beside him.

Was he...dead? No. No, no? You're heart thumped in your chest.

You quickly grabbed his wrist and checked for a pulse, then you pushed away his scarf and tried finding pulse in his neck. With a sigh of relief, you found it was there and beating normally. Was he ok? You poked him a few times, gently at first, then harder. No movement whatsoever except the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Irritated, (because your plan was foiled) you turned him over to his back, with a little effort. A bit of clear violet drool was at the corner of his mouth and slid down his cheek. You shivered as you watched it disappear into the collar of his cape. Suddenly a beautiful brilliant plan hatched in your head and you smirked almost evilly.

You sat on his chest one leg on his left side and one leg on his right side, you straddled him.

"Oh~ Eridaaaaan.." You cooed softly "Time to wake THE HELL UP!" You grabbed him from the front of his shirt and bitch smacked him hard enough to make a sound but soft enough to not leave a mark. His head lolled to the side.

"Rise n' shine asshole!"


"Up and at 'em!"


Nope he's not waking up anytime soon. You huffed and your eyes narrowed. "Fine then!" You smacked him on his left cheek and proceed to get your 'revenge' for all the time's he's been an asshole.


"That's for all the 'useless' human jokes!"


"That's for never pestering me to say 'Hi'!"


"That's because slapping you arouses me!" You blushed as you said this.


"That's for all the hairy midgets in the world!"


"That's because I felt like slapping you!"


You panted and stopped for a few seconds, both of Eridan's cheeks were violet from the multiple bitch smacks you given him, this made you feel slightly guilty, your basically abusing him. But then you remembered all the other things he did to 1. Hurt your feelings and 2. Piss you the fuck off.

Guilt thrown out the window.

You grabbed the front of his shirt again, his head lolled back this time, and you smacked him again. (Jeez)


"That's for being taller than me!"


"That's for never asking me to the prom!"


"That's for never having time to hang out with me!"


"That's for stabbing me in the heart!" Tears started to bubble at the corner of your eyes.


"That's for being a total douche!"


"That's for not washing the dishes when you came over for lunch!"


"That's for making me hate you!"


That smack was ... softer though. 

Soft smackingly soft.

You stopped slapping him again and grabbed his head cradling it in the palms of your hands, your thumb caressed the grey and violet skin of his cheek.

You leaned in and kissed him, a soft gentle kiss that poured all your emotions into it.

"That's for making me love you..." You blushed and set his head down on the floor, and got up from him. Making your way to his door and you stood and stared lovingly back at him, then ran out.

Oh my GOG I mean- God what have you done??? You're face exploded in red and you ran all the way home making sure you locked all doors. This was much too embarrassing! Damn your mood swings of red and black! You'll find out what he feels some other time, because you're suddenly occupied trying to scrub the blush of your face.


If you stayed and looked back at Eridan as you ran out of his hive you would have noticed his eyes were WIDE open, and he had...the most silliest of grins on his face, Eridan raised a grey hand to his lips, eyes wide and sparkling in amazement, he then flinched and touched his cheek.

"That human can sure slap... but that wwas definitely wworth it." He smirked.

As it turns out Eridan faked being unconscious when he noticed you coming towards his hive, thinking this was a great opportunity to scare you 'cause he knew you 'cared' he didn't expect you to smack the fuckin shit out of him though, or the surprise kiss, which he greatly enjoyed. At least he now knows how you feel about him, he finally decided he'll tell you how he feels tomorrow, right now all he wants to do is nurse his sore violet cheeks.
Ok Second Readers insert! And this one I feel was worse than the first!

I had no idea where I was going with this to be honest. I just felt like doing Eridan X Reader. Meh. Oh and the bitch smacking thing was from the Deadpool game... I thought it was funny...

Comments on how I can make this better? God Reader is so bipolar!

Eridan belongs to Andrew Hussie!

You belong to Eridan... :3

GAHHHH omg thank you all for the favorites and comments :'D
I feel so happy right now :iconspazattackplz:
Add a Comment:
trainershadow12 Featured By Owner 1 day ago  New member Hobbyist Artist
do i sense deadpool refences durring the slapping? also nice fic~ edrian gets more love :D
Dustfinger1 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Student Writer
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that was slightly........ interesting. And mean. But kinda adorable.
booxlacy Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Could you possibly write a part two, pwease?Pwease 
goddessofadventure Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Student General Artist
I would do this
But i would probably just make him food and wait for him to wake up instead of running out.
TheOneAndOnlyPotato Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
AudioReciver Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2014
Hmmm...Deadpool anyone~?

I 💜'd this!!! I hope you write some more wicked pieces like this in the future!!!
amfjsndndn Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014
Ikr. At the beginning im like: is this like from deadpool? Then it's the hi thing and I'm like YES YES YESSSS XD
Animegirl259 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014
"That's for never asking me to prom!" Nice.

This was... cute, sort of? And definitely funny. Great job :)
Demonic-Bamboo-Panda Featured By Owner Edited Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel as if you have played or watched a deadpool and you have~ enjoyment!
DarkElementEX Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014
Damn it Wade, (one of my favourite parts of the game :D)
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